Good Ol' Lasagna

As some of you know, I am anticipating some news in the next week or so on my first attempt at a novel. I keep imagining my manuscript as a figurine (with arms and legs kind of like Gumby's, except that it is made out of paper and wearing a top hat for some reason) strolling around Manhattan to meetings with publishers, shaking people's hands and fanning out his pages seductively while editors nod with approval.

And then, in some of the darker daydreams, he gets a little touristy and goes to the top of the Empire State Building, where he promptly blows off the edge, scatters all over Fifth Avenue, and disintegrates under the tires of taxis.

[insert nervous laughter here]

And that is how I decided to make something really time consuming for tomorrow's dinner.

Instructions:

Take everything that isn't milk out of the crisper (if you don't live somewhere with milk-in-a-bag, you won't get this) and dice it up. Heat a tablespoon or so of olive oil in a big pot. Dump in onions, carrots, parsnips, and anything rooty that takes a long time to soften. Cook until soft, five to ten minutes. Add several garlic cloves, minced, and cook another minute. Splash in something liquid (I love sherry, and sometimes it even makes it into the food) to deglaze. Then put in one large can of crushed tomatoes and one large can of whole or diced. Add whatever other vegetables are lying around. I had two zucchinis and some swiss chard, which I sliced into strips, plus a couple fresh tomatoes.

Now, some people would say that I should have added meat back there, and the thing is, I intended to, but blinding anxiety has a way of impeding cognition. When I realized my mistake, it was too late, as I wasn't about to dump raw hamburger into the mix. So I browned it in a separate pan and added at the end to the sauce. No big deal.

Add to this a lot of black pepper, basil, oregano, etc. No salt is needed with canned tomatoes but if you have a death wish, be my guest.

Now for the cheese. Shred mozzarella until your arm falls off or you have three cups, whichever comes first. Then add enough cottage cheese to make a thick spread. Or ricotta is even better, but I didn't have any on hand.

Spray a 13x9 pan and begin your layers with a scoop of sauce. This keeps everything from sticking. Add the pasta sheets (I had a multigrain fresh in the freezer but whatever is fine--I never cook them first regardless), then a layer of cheese, and repeat until it is going to overflow and make a mess of your fridge. Don't do what I did and continue adding ingredients like some deranged person and be surprised when it overflows.

I really was surprised. It's like I'm stupid or something.

Finish with parmesan cheese, cover with foil and cook at 375 for an hour, removing the foil in the last ten minutes to let the parmesan brown. Mine is still in the fridge to wait for tomorrow, which will come in handy, since by then I will probably be spending most of the day crouched in the back of the closet.

It's quite possible I've left out a major step here. I'll post a picture tomorrow and let you know how it turns out!